April: Hello Hearts!

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From now on, columnist Susanne Kaloff will be giving us a few thoughts every month on how to make the days and nights sweeter. In theory, anyway.

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Oh Excusez-moi, I'm totally late, it's already the middle of April! I'll keep it short:

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There are few things that help you to live. My all-time number one: going to the movies. The only place that helps you live. I think Jean-Luc Godard once said that, but I'm not sure because I wasn't there when he possibly said it. The next film I'm going to watch is Three Days in Quiberon. Romy Schneider twisted her foot there jumping over the cliffs, and Marie Bäumer plays her quite well, I think. At least what I saw in the trailer. Romy once said, "My fear is killing me again." But I wasn't there for that statement either.

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What also helps in life are lists. On one of those lists in my head for many years has been a white men's shirt from Van Laack that I want embroidered with my initials. Only very small, on the bottom left, under the breast pocket: S.K. I would love to have five of these shirts, one for each day of the week. Pure white as coke they would hang in the closet like in that psycho closet of Mickey Rourke in 9 ½ weeks. To this day, I have not managed to purchase this uniform. Yet it would be money well spent.

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Invest in yourself, you have earned it. Have I? I think we fuck up big time sometimes when it comes to burning money. I certainly do. Best example: Hair clips from Copenhagen. They are retro plastic hair clips, probably leftovers from the seventies from a ramshackle Danish drugstore. They are the opposite of sturdy, made of solid plastic, they have such pretty blue and bronze plastic flowers. I saw them at a friend's house and went nuts: I'm dying without these hair clips. They reminded me of a vacation in Rimini. They screamed at me, "You're going to look 17, Suse!" I immediately order three via Instagram (transactions that start with the phrase "direct message me" always end up knee-deep in dispo). Why three? I asked myself the same thing later. For my three hairs, haha. No, because one wouldn't have been worth it with the expensive postage. Now they arrived. They are cute. Until I saw the credit card bill: 46 euros for three hair clips. Isn't that meshuga?

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Yes, it is. And that has to change. To do that, though, I first bought something again. A book to download. It's called Money Love by Meadow Devor. So I invested nine dollars and ninety-nine in my plan to get better. In it, the American woman tells how she ruined herself financially, and and found out what her relationship to money is. Now she's rich, I guess, because everyone is downloading her book for $9.99. I don't begrudge her, but I'm still no closer. Except that I now know I spend too much. But I knew that before. She says all the money we spend is a conscious decision. True, I wasn't gagged or made to order the three rancid hair clips. My point is: consciousness is the key word here, too. From now on, I'm going to pay close attention to every transaction and ask myself: what are you hoping to achieve with this purchase?

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Got it! I didn't want hair clips at all, in fact I wanted my youth back. And for that, 46 euros seemed really cheap. Also, this type of procedure is non-invasive. By the way, the money book was worth it for one sentence alone: I don't even have to put on shoes to earn money. Because it struck me: I don't even have to put on shoes to earn money! If you can say that, it's quite a good record. If anyone out there is interested in a skin tightening retro hair clip, direct message me, please.